eloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and
be in health , just as your soul prospers. - 3 John 1:2
be in health , just as your soul prospers. - 3 John 1:2
B
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| Copyright T Gordon 2007. Whole Souls Organization All rights reserved. Do not copy, distribute or use any part of this work without express, written permission from the creator of Whole Souls, T Gordon. |
| Marriage is a beautiful blessing, yet there will be some trials and tests when dealing with the man you love. This section will give you hope and help in the area of marriage! |
Quick snippet on marriage from Wanda Turner... One of the greatest, funniest women evangelist of our time! |
Many of our apologies come across as insincere because we are not speaking
the apology language of the offended person. If couples can learn each other's
primary apology language and speak it when they offend each other,
forgiveness will be much easier.
The Five Languages of Apology
Do you know the five languages of apology?
the apology language of the offended person. If couples can learn each other's
primary apology language and speak it when they offend each other,
forgiveness will be much easier.
The Five Languages of Apology
Do you know the five languages of apology?
- # 1 - Expressing Regret – “I’m sorry.” “I feel badly about what I did.”
# 2 - Accepting Responsibility – “I was wrong.” “It was my fault.”
# 3 - Making Restitution – “What can I do to make it right?”
# 4 - Genuinely Repenting – “I’ll try not to do that again.”
# 5 - Requesting Forgiveness – “Will you please forgive me?”
Speaking the Right One
When you apologize, you are trying to make things right. So you say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I know I hurt
you and I feel badly about it. Will you forgive me?” But your spouse says, “How could you do that if you loved
me? How can I forgive you when you never do anything to ‘make it right’?" You feel frustrated and don’t
know what to do next. The problem is not your sincerity, the problem is that you are not speaking the right
apology language.
Which Do You Want to Hear?
Which one of the five languages of apology do you want to hear? That is your primary apology language.
Apologize effectively by learning your spouse's apology language and speaking it when you know you have
offended each other. Ask your spouse, “When I apologize, what do you want to hear from me?” You may be
surprised at their answer, but it will give you their primary apology language. Learning to speak each other's
apology language will lead you to a growing marriage.
Excerpt taken from The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships by Gary
Chapman and Jennifer Thomas. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources,
visit www.fivelovelanguages.com
When you apologize, you are trying to make things right. So you say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I know I hurt
you and I feel badly about it. Will you forgive me?” But your spouse says, “How could you do that if you loved
me? How can I forgive you when you never do anything to ‘make it right’?" You feel frustrated and don’t
know what to do next. The problem is not your sincerity, the problem is that you are not speaking the right
apology language.
Which Do You Want to Hear?
Which one of the five languages of apology do you want to hear? That is your primary apology language.
Apologize effectively by learning your spouse's apology language and speaking it when you know you have
offended each other. Ask your spouse, “When I apologize, what do you want to hear from me?” You may be
surprised at their answer, but it will give you their primary apology language. Learning to speak each other's
apology language will lead you to a growing marriage.
Excerpt taken from The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships by Gary
Chapman and Jennifer Thomas. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources,
visit www.fivelovelanguages.com
| "If couples can learn each other's primary apology language and speak it when they offend each other, forgiveness will be much easier." |
1. Flow with the ups and downs. Sometimes you’re in a lousy mood, hurt, stressed,
or need to be alone; the same goes with your partner. Every relationship has ups and
downs. As long as there's no physical or emotional abuse, learn to ride the valley to
the next peak. That's a huge way to say "I love you": trust in your relationship and
have faith that the rocky or even boring times will pass.
2. Forgive. Forget. Don't bring the past into your current discussions or problems.
Say I love you by letting go of past mistakes and disappointments.
3. Accept your partner's beliefs about relationships. You may have a different or even
conflicting view about the way relationships "should" work. Talk about your different
expectations and find common ground.
4. Speak up for your needs. Forget the "If you loved me, you'd know," game or expect
your partner to read your mind. If you don’t state your needs, you can't get angry or
frustrated at your partner for not meeting them. Say I love you by being open and
honest.
or need to be alone; the same goes with your partner. Every relationship has ups and
downs. As long as there's no physical or emotional abuse, learn to ride the valley to
the next peak. That's a huge way to say "I love you": trust in your relationship and
have faith that the rocky or even boring times will pass.
2. Forgive. Forget. Don't bring the past into your current discussions or problems.
Say I love you by letting go of past mistakes and disappointments.
3. Accept your partner's beliefs about relationships. You may have a different or even
conflicting view about the way relationships "should" work. Talk about your different
expectations and find common ground.
4. Speak up for your needs. Forget the "If you loved me, you'd know," game or expect
your partner to read your mind. If you don’t state your needs, you can't get angry or
frustrated at your partner for not meeting them. Say I love you by being open and
honest.
Learning to Apologize Effectively
Have you ever noticed that what one person considers to be an apology, is not what another person considers
to be an apology? What is an apology?
It’s different things to different people. After three years of research, Dr. Jennifer Thomas and I have concluded
that there are five basic elements to an apology. We call them the five languages of apology. Each person has a
primary apology language, and one of the five speaks more deeply to them emotionally than the other four. If
you don’t speak their language, they may consider your apology insincere.
A Question of Sincerity
Ever had someone apologize to you and you questioned their sincerity? Ever ask yourself why? It’s probably
because they did not speak your apology language. They said, “I’m sorry.” But what you wanted to hear was,
“I was wrong.” They said, “Will you forgive me?” But what you wanted to hear was, “What can I do to make
this right?”
Have you ever noticed that what one person considers to be an apology, is not what another person considers
to be an apology? What is an apology?
It’s different things to different people. After three years of research, Dr. Jennifer Thomas and I have concluded
that there are five basic elements to an apology. We call them the five languages of apology. Each person has a
primary apology language, and one of the five speaks more deeply to them emotionally than the other four. If
you don’t speak their language, they may consider your apology insincere.
A Question of Sincerity
Ever had someone apologize to you and you questioned their sincerity? Ever ask yourself why? It’s probably
because they did not speak your apology language. They said, “I’m sorry.” But what you wanted to hear was,
“I was wrong.” They said, “Will you forgive me?” But what you wanted to hear was, “What can I do to make
this right?”
5. Don't be afraid to disagree. Having different perspectives
won't ruin your relationship, but abuse, name-calling, and
criticism will. Learn how to accept that your partner disagrees
with you and still say "I love you."
6. Ask questions. Maybe you don't understand why your
partner usually forgets your birthday or leaves dirty socks
everywhere but in the laundry hamper. Ask why. Getting to
the root of the behavior provides more insight than
complaining about it. Say I love you by being curious!
7. Face problems as they arise. Don't ignore problems or let
your resentment simmer. Be honest about how you feel, and
try to understand your partner's motivations.
won't ruin your relationship, but abuse, name-calling, and
criticism will. Learn how to accept that your partner disagrees
with you and still say "I love you."
6. Ask questions. Maybe you don't understand why your
partner usually forgets your birthday or leaves dirty socks
everywhere but in the laundry hamper. Ask why. Getting to
the root of the behavior provides more insight than
complaining about it. Say I love you by being curious!
7. Face problems as they arise. Don't ignore problems or let
your resentment simmer. Be honest about how you feel, and
try to understand your partner's motivations.
| 15 Healthy Ways To Say I Love You. Great tips for all couples, married or dating. |
8. Listen carefully. Saying "I love you" involves truly listening to your partner's concerns – without judging
them. Often we just need someone to hear us, and to try to see things from our perspective.
9. Have fun together! Figure out what makes you laugh and incorporate those movies, jokes, or activities into
your life regularly. Respect that your sense of humor may be different than your partner's.
10. Work hard to stay close. When you're married or committed for the long term, you may drift apart
especially when children, the mundane routine, or financial struggles arise. Learning how to say "I love you"
no matter how difficult life is will keep your relationship strong.
11. Update your dreams regularly and keep your partner involved. When you include your partner, you're
clearly saying "I love you."
12. Be the first to apologize. The more you both try to smooth the bumps, the happier you'll both be. Say I
love you by being willing to make up, forgive, and forget.
13. Nurture your self-respect & self-esteem. Be someone you like and respect. Find meaningful work, get
involved in the community or church, and pursue professional and personal growth. Explore your interests
and passions, and share your life with your partner.
14. Cooperate. Don't expect your partner to take the full load – whether it's with the kids, housecleaning,
relating to relatives, earning money, or investing. Say I love you by going out of your comfort zone!
15. Examine bad relationships. Why do you keep choosing the wrong partner or end up in addictive
relationships? Do you make the same mistakes repeatedly? Knowing how to say "I love you" may not effective if
you're in the wrong relationship.
Source
them. Often we just need someone to hear us, and to try to see things from our perspective.
9. Have fun together! Figure out what makes you laugh and incorporate those movies, jokes, or activities into
your life regularly. Respect that your sense of humor may be different than your partner's.
10. Work hard to stay close. When you're married or committed for the long term, you may drift apart
especially when children, the mundane routine, or financial struggles arise. Learning how to say "I love you"
no matter how difficult life is will keep your relationship strong.
11. Update your dreams regularly and keep your partner involved. When you include your partner, you're
clearly saying "I love you."
12. Be the first to apologize. The more you both try to smooth the bumps, the happier you'll both be. Say I
love you by being willing to make up, forgive, and forget.
13. Nurture your self-respect & self-esteem. Be someone you like and respect. Find meaningful work, get
involved in the community or church, and pursue professional and personal growth. Explore your interests
and passions, and share your life with your partner.
14. Cooperate. Don't expect your partner to take the full load – whether it's with the kids, housecleaning,
relating to relatives, earning money, or investing. Say I love you by going out of your comfort zone!
15. Examine bad relationships. Why do you keep choosing the wrong partner or end up in addictive
relationships? Do you make the same mistakes repeatedly? Knowing how to say "I love you" may not effective if
you're in the wrong relationship.
Source